Open Your Heart
by Hi-World
Summary: One-shot set in the present about the Jac/Sahira relationship. Greg gets fed up of their constant squabbling so has a plan which he hopes will put an end to it. Will the plan succeed or will it all just end in tears?


**_Ok, so, hi. This is just a little one-shot set in the present [well, when Jac and Sahira didn't get along, they seem to have cheered up a little now?] mainly about Jac and Sahira, with a few Greg features, basically I love the Darwin dynamic and this popped into my head. This is my first HC fic, so apologies in advance for the rambleyness, slight rubbishness and possible out-of-characterness! Pretty high standards on here, some of your fics are amazing! Enjoy :D_**

"Sahira, I need your help…" Greg asked the registrar, who was currently sat at the desk reading over her case notes.

"Sounds ominous," she replied, looking up at him from her notes.

"There's a small girl in the consultant's office, pigtails, crying, you know the sort and I need a woman's touch."

"Called security?"

"Not yet, but I'll do that now while you go and check on her, if she's not there just stay put. Ok?" he suggested.

"Ok," Sahira nodded before rushing off.

Greg saw Jac out the corner of his eye and hurried towards her, "Jac."

"Mr Douglas, what are you bothering me about now?" she sniped.

"Well, if you'd rather not know what's happening in your office right now I don't have to tell you," he retorted.

She rolled her eyes, 'What?'

"Your files are flying around the room, someone left the window wide open, I shut it but it's a mess in there."

"And you didn't think to clear it up?"

"Nope, it's your stuff…"

She sighed, "I guess I'll have to see to it then, cover for me?"

"Erm," he said suspiciously. "Want some help?"

"What have you done?"

"What do you mean?" he questioned in his best angelic voice.

"You're offering to help me."

"Well, you know me, I love to help out my colleagues," he said grinning.

Jac briskly walked down the corridor and burst into her office to find Sahira's backside peeking out from under the desk, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well she's definitely not in here," Sahira piped.

"Am I missing something, because I was under the impression that all my files had blown everywhere…?"

"Well Greg told me there was a girl in here," Sahira replied popping her head up from behind the desk. "You really need to dust under there by the way," she coughed.

Before they quite realised what was going on the door had just shut and Greg had turned the key in the lock.

"You are bloody joking!" Jac exclaimed.

"Nope, your sparring is driving me mad, it'll do you some good."

"How long am I expected to stay in a room with her?" Jac asked.

"Ditto," Sahira added.

"All lunch, anyway I'm off! Enjoy!" he laughed.

Jac sat down at her computer, got out her lunch and started up her computer.

"What are you doing?" Sahira asked.

"Something productive."  
>"Greg won't let us out unless we 'sort out our differences'" she said, mimicking Greg's Irish accent.<p>

"You're so naïve, just lie…"

"Unlike some of us I believe honesty is the best policy," she said obviously. "Honesty," Jac laughed, "Really?"

"No doubt that's a word you're relatively unfamiliar with."

Jac raised her eyebrows and munched on a carrot stick.

"At least you've got lunch, I'll probably have to skip it…"

"Aw, don't cry hun," she replied sarcastically.

"Wasn't planning to, sweetie." She sat down at Elliot's desk and pondered for a few minutes.

"Just because I get emotionally involved in cases doesn't make me any less of a surgeon than you are."

"But it clouds your judgement and ability to make decent surgical decisions, surely that makes me the better surgeon."

"They're people, not dolls we can chop up, put back together again and shove in a box. They're people with emotions that we have to consider."

"I didn't become a cardiothoracic surgeon to dibble-dabble in counselling and psychiatry."

"I didn't become a cardiothoracic surgeon to treat people like objects."

"We're here to do our job and move on, not make friends. Work is work, home is home."

"Some of us can't withdraw ourselves that easily, some of us want to get along with our colleagues so everyday isn't a battle, some of us have a heart."

"Tell me something I haven't heard before, the heartless one is getting old now," Jac said coldly.

"You know what, I'm fed-up of being Mr Nice-guy. I work my arse off day-in, day-out, and still it's not good enough for you. 'Write clearer Ms Shah', 'Hurry up Ms Shah', 'Stop talking to the patients'. Why are you so cold all the time?"

"I'm not here for a psych analysis thanks."

"It's true what they say about you, lying, cheating and forcing your way to the top. Any means possible. I heard the rumours and I thought no, no one could be that much of a bitch, but it's true. I heard how you messed about the Byrnes, manipulating Joseph, shagging his father for a job. What on earth did Joseph see in you?"

"Don't you dare bring Joseph into this, you have not a clue what went on between us, no one does, so don't pretend you do," Jac said passionately, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Well tell me then, because I don't have a clue how there can be any excuse for doing something as spiteful and vile as that," she scorned.

"You think I should tell you?" she spat. "That I can trust you…"

"Unlikely you'd tell me, or anyone for that matter. Shock horror, Jac Naylor discloses some personal information!"

"When you've been let down time after time you begin to realise that the only person you can truly trust is yourself, why waste time kidding yourself that they might just change, that maybe they do mean it this time, when deep down you know they don't give a flying monkeys."

"Boom, finally she gives us a clue as to why she's so cold…you're just broken."

"No shit Sherlock, it took you all this time to work it out?"

"You put up such a façade that it's hard to believe that inside that icy exterior is just a shattered soul," Sahira said quietly.

"You're doing your very best to tear me apart aren't you? What do you want from me Sahira?" Jac argued.

"The truth, enlightenment, or heaven forbid an apology."

"What do you take me for, a puppet? A few tugs on the heart strings and I'll reveal all?"

"One day something awful will happen to you and you will need us like never before. But let me tell you something, if you carry on acting like you do now, forcing people away, making them feel like dirt, not trusting them, then you'll be left all on your own. We won't care, we won't be there for you, no one will. You push away anyone who attempts to befriend you, shows you some kindness. Why should we give up our time and energy for someone who clearly doesn't want it, someone who has never made the effort, who will never go out of their way for us back? Whatever has gone on in your past, it's done. But you can't carry on like this, what goes around comes around as they say and this will come back to bite you unless you don't change. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you've had more than just the two, this is last chance saloon before you do something unforgivable and are left truly alone," Sahira said passionately.

"Ouch," Jac choked, "That hurt." Tears seeped from her eyes, a sign that Sahira had broken her.

"That's another thing you need to drop, the incessant sarcasm."

"But, that wasn't sarcasm…" she replied raising her eyebrows.

"I know, I'm just saying."

Jac took a deep breath, "My mother left me when I was 12, to go to India and look after children in an orphanage, while I lived in a care home for the next 6 years. She deserted me and left me wondering what kind of mother would leave their own daughter? What had I done that was so awful that meant even my own mother didn't want to be near me? Do you have any idea what that does to a 12 year old? To carry that entire burden on their shoulders, to be constantly shrouded in the fear that even their own mother couldn't love them." Jac wiped away the tears, signs of weakness and ploughed on. "Last year my mother turned up out of the blue, 20 years after she'd deserted me, with renal failure. At first I was pretty convinced that her turning up conveniently at Holby was just a ploy to get a free kidney off me, but I softened and trusted her, let her into my life. Everyone deserves a second chance like you said, maybe she was truly sorry. I donated my kidney and cared for her while she recovered, the perfect daughter. Instead she repaid me by running off, I discovered her at my Grandfather's house, with my grandfather who I'd been led to believe was dead. I was unnecessarily in care for 6 years while I had a living relative minutes away from me, needless to say, my mother had woven a web of deceit, my grandfather believing I had too been in India all those years. But the worst part was not only discovering I had a half-sister, but realising that all that time my mother had been planning to disappear back to India again, without saying goodbye, without thanking me and I was just the organ donor, the spare-parts daughter. Minutes after the encounter I was rushed to hospital with sceptic shock."

"I'm so sorry," Sahira replied empathetically, her forehead creased as the tried to comprehend what her senior had been through.

"That's what they all say," Jac retorted coldy.

"It doesn't warrant destroying other's lives though does it, namely the Byrne's.

"I've told you," Jac said through gritted teeth. "That's completely irrelevant, you have no idea…"

"Well give me an idea then," Sahira challenged.

"You know I won't."

"Believe me, I'll crack you."

"Why? Do you like me digging up my past, seeing me hurt, cry? Sadistic, is that what you are?"

"Pot kettle black."

"Emotional blackmail."

"Did you love Joseph?"

Jac didn't reply, her eyes stared vacantly at her computer screen.

"Did you love Lord Byrne?"

"Of course not! What do you take me for?" Jac exploded.

"I'll take that as a yes to the first question and I don't know what to take you for, I don't know the whole story so don't accuse me when you haven't told me." Jac rolled her eyes in response. "Was Joseph nice?"

"What kind of question is that?" Jac spluttered.

"A question kind of question," she replied.

"Yes, he was nice."

"Which makes things worse, I mean if he was horrible it may warrant sleeping with his father, but no."

"For goodness sakes, just leave it! Not a day goes by when I don't regret what I did, I made a huge mistake but no amount of digging into the past is going to excuse it or change what happened. I don't want to bring it up, it won't achieve anything and so I'd appreciate it if you just didn't bother." Jac held herself together, her expression emotionless and vacant as she tried not to let her emotions show.

"Where did Joseph leave to go in the end?" Sahira asked, genuinely interested.

However, this signified the end of Jac's tether, her shield slipped as she could no longer contain her emotions. She drew in a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair, no longer fussed about the tears cascading down her face. Guilt flashed on Sahira's face as she realised that maybe she'd pushed a little too much and hit a nerve, a large one at that. The realisation hit Sahira that she didn't have a clue what happened to Joseph, she just knew he was not longer around.

"He's not…dead, is he?" Sahira asked nervously.

"No," Jac shook her head. "He went to Penrith with his son…"

"He has a son?"

Jac normally would've retorted with a sarcastic comment about Sahira's reply, but she no longer had the energy to fight. "Yes," she replied simply.

"So there was someone else involved, a case of un-requited love on your part?"

"No."

"No you didn't love him or no he loved you as well?" Sahira asked. "You know you're just going to have to explain from the beginning Jac."

She sighed, tears still rolling down her cheeks, her hands quaking and finally gave in to Sahira's protests. "I started seeing Joseph in the hope that his father would give me the consultant's job, I didn't expect to like him so much and so when I realised I'd fallen in love with him it came as a shock. I'd never felt like that about anyone before, like everything I expected it to end at some point, get too close and you get burned, so I ended it in the only way I knew would end it definitely and the way that would get my career further. A while after, before he married Faye we admitted our feelings, that we loved each other but we couldn't he couldn't go back, I told him to marry me instead. He didn't of course, he married Faye and things were bitter between us. I tried to warn him about Faye, her gold-digger ways and history, having 3 previous husbands and 2 suspiciously dead doesn't bode well. Joseph didn't believe me, he wanted to see the best in Faye, so naïve that he believed any bloody lie that woman spun for him, after all why would he believe me after what I'd done to him? Eventually things came to an end between them, Faye was having an affair and was uninterested in Joseph. Divorce proceedings started, until Faye found out she was pregnant, Joseph, besotted with the idea of being a father. Things were going as well as you could expect, with Faye and Linden together and Joseph being left completely out of the loop. I suppose it was during that time Joseph and I started talking again, I became his most trusted confidante. When Linden died Faye was in pieces, she went mad, clinically insane. That was the hardest time for Joseph, sectioning his wife, who was clingy, needy and desperate, she did anything to get Joseph's attention. When Faye finally went into labour she refused to be moved to maternity, despite a breach labour and needing a c-section. All Joseph's efforts to persuade her to move were futile, he trusted in me to persuade her, me of all people! She hated me, I hated her, but during those moments when I tried to persuade her, it wasn't my loathe for her I was thinking of, all I could think about was that it was Joseph's son's life I had in my hands, he'd entrusted me with that and I couldn't let him down. Faye told me that he should've been my son and it broke my heart to think that it was true, he should've been mine if I hadn't messed up. Eventually I persuaded her and she was taken to maternity, and Joseph and I resumed our relationship outside Maternity Theatre 1," Jac smiled reminiscently.

Sahira laughed, "Tell me you didn't!"

"Didn't what?"

"You know, consummate your relationship outside Maternity Theatre 1!"

"No, that would be…"

"Illegal?" Sahira said, finishing Jac's sentence.

"I was going to say wrong, but yes illegal as well," Jac exclaimed.

"This is better than a Jilly Cooper, carry on."

Jac rolled her eyes, "This is my life, not a book. Faye was a handful to say the least, she wouldn't bond with Harry and Joseph assured her that divorce proceedings would stop until she was ready, that didn't really do wonders for our relationship. We got through it all, when Faye finally left and after much persuasion left Harry with Joseph, it felt like finally I was able to have my happy ending. Finally I had Joseph and everything just slotted into place, and this time I was adamant that I wouldn't screw up, a clean slate. But good things never last do they? I of all people should've known that. Joseph was offered Connie's position as Cardiothoracic Consultant, naturally I had wanted that position since the beginning of time, yet because it was Joseph I was pleased for him, he deserved it more than I did. It was too much though, how can you balance running one of the most important wards as well as being a mother and a father to your 6 week old son? He'd found the perfect alternative, a GP practice in Penrith, shorter hours, a much nicer place to bring up a child and he could still practice what he loved. He asked me to come with him 'wife, son and dog', promising log fires and country walks.

"Spontaneous proposal moment," Sahira joked.

"I refused, I wasn't ready to give everything up, everything I'd worked for, my identity, friends, for someone who and he admitted it, would always put me second. I suppose what wasn't the entire truth, I was quite frankly terrified at the prospect of going into the unknown. If I was to go with Joseph I would have to be a mother to Harry, I'd have a child's life, welfare in my hands, children are so impressionable, what if I did something awful and he turned out like me? What if I couldn't step up to the mark, be the person Joseph and Harry wanted me to be? Be the mother Harry craved, needed? How would I do a good job of being a mother if I didn't have anything to base it on? What if I turned out like my mother?" Jac choked up again, and once more the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I wanted so much to go, to be with Joseph and be part of a true family. But I couldn't do it, too weak, to afraid of the consequences, what might happen. Once again, my commitment fear got the better of me. I tried to persuade Joseph to stay, but it was futile, he'd made up his mind and Harry was his priority, not even I could stand in the way of that."

"Maybe he'll come back for you when Harry's older?" Sahira suggested.

"Maybe he'll meet someone else, he might not want me in 10 years." Jac paused for a moment, "Sometimes it takes losing something to realise what you had."

"Very wise, Ms Naylor," she commented.

She took a deep breath and batted away the tears, "But I picked myself up again and moved on, what else could I do? I'm over it. Look where it got me, if Joseph hadn't gone I wouldn't be where I am now, Queen Bee."

"You don't mean that," Sahira insisted.

"No, I don't," Jac replied. "But if I kid myself for long enough, then eventually I will believe it. I'd fall apart if I didn't think something good had come out of this."

"Which is why you need a good, supportive team of colleagues around you, sitting at home along every night, thinking about what you could've had isn't going to make matters any better. Come out for a drink with us this evening? Think of it as a peace offering!"

"Us being who?"

"Greg and myself, Mary-Claire deserted us."

"I'll think about it, don't want people thinking I've gone soft now!" Jac chuckled.

Sahira smiled, "I guess I owe you an apology, sorry for being so tough on you today and running to Hanssen about every little thing."

"Yes, you did owe me an apology and the whole Hanssen thing has to stop, but I also owe you one too, for being a complete bitch to you the last few weeks. Now that's done, what's the deal between you and Hanssen?" she asked cunningly.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Sahira winked. "Oh and you've got a bit," she indicated to her own eye, as Jac had little black flecks beneath her eye.

"Right, thanks," Jac replied awkwardly, brushing away the crumbs of eye make-up. "At least it's waterproof."

"That's true, right Greg better hurry up, I'm famished."

"Carrot stick?" Jac offered.

"I'm alright, thanks, not too keen of rabbit food myself," she laughed.

"Suit yourself, oh, second draw on the left," Jac indicated to Elliot's desk. "Packet of bourbons, custard creams and most likely some jammy dodgers, although I did see him tuck into those yesterday…"

"And you know this how?"

"Sometimes I get a little peckish! There's always free food when you share an office with Elliot," Jac exclaimed.

"Won't he notice?"

"No, well, depends how much you eat."

"I'll take note and make a detour to Sainsbury's this evening. Bourbon?" she offered Jac. Jac thought about it for a moment, "Vegetables aren't going to keep you going all day."

"Ok, ok," Jac gave in.

The key turned in the lock and the door opened, "Ladies! Ooh, free biscuits!"

"Thank God, I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about us," Sahira said, relieved.

"You are paying for this Mr Douglas," Jac threatened.

"What'cha gonna do? Bite me?" Greg teased.

"Want a bet?" Jac replied.

The three of them walked out of the office, "Guess who's coming for a drink with us tonight."

"Who?" Greg asked Sahira.

"I didn't agree, I said maybe," Jac intercepted.

"That always means yes," Sahira replied.

"You've said it now Naylor, there's no escaping a maybe with Sahira."

"It's true, I will hunt you down."

"You know you want to come…" Greg smiled.

"Relax, I'll come!" Jac smirked.

"You know we'll make a pretty formidable team."

_**Also sorry for the mega longness, hope it made sense, didn't seem too far fetched and didn't have too many spelling/grammar mistakes [I read it through millions, so it shouldn't have too many!] Please read and review, seriously, free biscuits for those who do! XD **_

_**Thank you x **_


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